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You cannot demonize something and heal it, at the same time. 

You cannot be afraid of something and heal it, at the same same time. 

You cannot punish something and heal it, at the same time. 

This applies to what is within you, as well as what is seen in the external world. 

Guilt, fear, and punishment never lead to genuine healing. Look at your own life for a moment – when you have directed these things towards yourself, have they ever brought you any sense of true healing or peace? Has any lasting good ever come of them? 

No.

Then why do we hold onto these things so tightly, thinking that they will eventually fix something within ourselves, within another, or within the world? 

Working with people from all walks of life, it is astonishing to me how so many beautiful people hold so much deep-seated guilt, thinking that punishing themselves day in and day out will eventually lead to some sense of inner resolve. They think, on some level, that if they punish themselves long-enough, that they will finally pay off some imaginary karmic debt that isn’t even there. 

They think that this guilt and self-punishment will correct or resolve something one day. But that “one day” never comes.

And so I see people literally create entire realities for themselves out of this guilt and self-punishment. They stay in abusive relationships because they think they “owe something” to someone, or that they deserve it on some level. They stay in jobs that are not aligned with their soul’s passion because they feel overly responsible to their own detriment. And they put themselves in harm’s way, because they think they will fix something through unnecessarily carrying the burdens of others. 

And then as an innocent attempt to rid themselves of their own deep-seated guilt, they will often unconsciously project it onto the external world, and decorate their realities with victims and oppressors, with everything and everyone to blame. 

And hence the “world” that we see. 

Guilt and self-punishment are the psychological glues that bind people to the toxic relationships and circumstances in their lives. 

So when someone goes through a genuine healing of breaking a toxic cycle, they will often experience a surge of guilt rising up from the subconscious. 

They will feel “selfish” at first, for leaving the toxic relationship, job, or situation, because the “glue” is being undone. This is a positive sign of healing. As they face the shadow of their guilt, they will see that it functions much like a mirage – where as they walk into it, they discover that there is actually nothing there. It was all smoke and mirrors. 

So as they walk through the cloud of guilt, it begins to disappear, and they will see the shining light of their soul’s innocence, patently awaiting the embrace of its beautiful and unique illumined glow. 

Guilt and self-punishment serve no function. They bear no real fruit. 

People think they are repaying some old karmic debt for something they’ve done, in order to justify their self-abuse. And of course, for most people, this is not happening on the level of conscious awareness, this is occurring on a deeper subconscious level.

Let me let you in on something: Yes, there is karma.

But karma is not a punishment or a debt – it is a learning device. 

And its ultimate teaching is to teach you of your innate innocence, as a radiant and pure extension of Source, God, Creator – whatever you prefer to call It. 

So you are free, the moment that you accept and celebrate yourself for who you truly are, as a unique and invaluable expression of Source. Your Self-acceptance is the ultimate aim of karma’s teaching. You play out as many “karmic experiences” as you need to, in order to learn to embrace your True Self. But only as many as you need to, in order to learn. 

How this applies practically – the moment that you truly realize that you are worth so much more than the abuse that you put yourself through, you are free. And you have all the power in the universe to claim your freedom, and to put yourself in relationships and situations that inspire, uplift and nourish who you are on a soul level. 

But YOU have to take responsibility to claim your own freedom. 

If you don’t, you will subconsciously match the default energy of the collective field, and take on the energy of guilt and self-punishment and adopt it as your own. 

So true healing doesn’t come out of guilt, fear or punishment. 

It comes from claiming who you truly are on a soul level, and through claiming the power of your connection to God (Source). 

And it also comes from realizing that there is nothing in this world that could ever actually sever your connection with God, because your connection with God is not of this world, therefor nothing in this world can ever harm it.

And herein is your healing, your freedom, and your peace. 

When you start to set boundaries in your life, it’s amazing how many people that you will disappoint.

And it’s amazing how many people you will feel that you have let down.

Many have been conditioned to get their needs met, through continuously giving their energy away to others, to the point where a state of self-depletion is normalized.

When this happens, one becomes gridlocked in their lives, where they weave a web of relationships around them that are codependent. 

This creates a reality for that person that traps them in the need for false validation and security, rather than a life created from the genuine expression of their soul.

And so, when one goes through a true healing, they must go through a process of breaking out of the codependent web that has formed around them.

In this process, they reclaim their energy through learning to set the necessary boundaries that provide the proper containment for their soul to actually emerge and express.

But through this process, they are going to disappoint a lot of people, and seemingly let a lot of people down. And it’s not uncommon to shed and release layers of relationships as this occurs.

So, facing this disappointment from others, is a necessary part of the healing process.

This is because the nervous system itself is actually breaking its addiction to false validation and approval.

The nervous system must learn to be comfortable in the face of others’ disappointments.

This is because the nervous system has been conditioned to feel a sense of safety through continuously giving one’s energy away, because it secures a false sense of value to those around them.

In this, the nervous system becomes addicted to appeasing others at the expense of caring for oneself, because it provides a false sense of “stasis” to the nervous system.

So ironically enough, learning to set healthy boundaries is actually intrinsically linked to breaking addiction in many cases.

But through this initiation process of setting boundaries and getting comfortable with others’ disappointments, one breaks free from the unconscious drive to seek security through self-depletion. 

And in this, a reconnection is formed with the intelligence of one’s soul, one’s intuition, and they allow their lives to be governed from their own internal guidance system, rooted in their connection to Source (God), rather than being ruled by the approval of others. 

So when someone gets disappointed in you when you set a healthy boundary, you can thank them for liberating you from the need of their approval. 

Because their disappointment is actually helping to reacquaint you with the genuine expression of your own soul. 

And their disappointment in you is actually helping to heal your nervous system.

This is because it’s re-training your nervous system to feel safe with being self-validated, rather than being validated by others. 

And so at the core of this, is an internal re-orientation from being invested in the need for false approval, to a reinvestment into the intelligence of one’s soul, and one’s connection with God (Source).

We will never come into true autonomy without facing rejection from others.

We will never know the depth and strength of our character, without facing rejection from others.

And we will never know what it means to embrace the unique beauty of our soul’s expression without facing rejection from others.

If we avoid rejection, then we avoid our own autonomy. 

Rejection is a purifying force that frees us from the subconscious desire to bend our souls’ natural expression for the sake of appeasing another’s idea of us. 

With that being said, facing rejection is one of the most liberating experiences that we will ever undergo, and it puts us into direct contact with the unique language of the soul.

And yet, rejection is one of the things that people fear more than anything.

When we don’t allow ourselves to go through the proper initiation of facing rejection from others, then we subconsciously internalize rejection as a way of trying to avoid it externally.

This is where self-rejection comes from.

When someone is experiencing self-rejection, subconsciously they are trying to reject themselves first before anyone else can do it in their external world. And they believe (unconsciously) that doing this will protect them from the pain of facing rejection from another. In this, they fabricate a protective false persona that matches the ideals that other people “wish” them to be, at the expense of allowing themselves to embody the authentic expression of their soul.

This creates a schism within their psyche, and they become unconsciously ruled by the parts of themselves that they’ve rejected.

For example:

If a man rejects his innate masculinity at the expense of appeasing others, then he will become unconsciously ruled by it through attracting women that embody his repressed masculinity, and thus create co-dependent and abusive relationships that reflect his internal imbalance.

So in other words, he will manifest relationships that become the external expression of his own internal entrapment. 

This man’s life will become ruled by the very aspects of himself that he rejects. 

So he must go through a process of taking ownership over those rejected aspects, learn to embody them, and face rejection externally to integrate the integrity of his own self-autonomy.

So, one way or another we MUST face rejection. 

If we don’t properly allow ourselves to face rejection externally from others, then we are doomed to internalizing it.

This is because the soul understands that rejection is the gateway into freedom.

And this is because the soul understands that we can’t have true autonomy without actually confronting it.

The soul is determined that we face rejection one way or another, because it knows that its power is on the other side of it.

So in this, facing rejection helps us to break our attachments to how other people perceive us, which brings us into more direct contact with the reality of who we actually are.

It helps us to give up the false world that has been fabricated of people’s projections, so that we may enter into God’s world, and understand the depth of how unconditionally loved and accepted we’ve always been.

It breaks our addiction to what is unreal, that we may invest ourselves into what is actually Real.

What if I told you that there was actually no such thing as self-doubt? 

And that self-doubt is actually a misinterpretation of something else happening on a deeper subconscious level.

When we “doubt ourselves”, what is actually going on is that we are becoming aware of a schism within our psyche.

There is one part of us that is empathically matching the energies of those around us, or the collective field.

And then there is another part of us that is deeply rooted in the intelligence of the soul.

And the “doubt” is the tension that we feel between these two parts of ourselves – the part of us that is matching the energy of others, and the part of us that is rooted in our inner knowing.

So when we “doubt” ourselves, what is really happening is there is a part of us that feels safer staying energetically entrained to the frequency of others, rather than going forth autonomously to embody our deeper knowing.

So it’s not so much a matter of “doubting”, as it is more of a matter of wanting to feel safe.

When I’m working with someone who is struggling with self-doubt, when I tune in to their subconscious, in most cases, it actually feels like the doubt is never the real issue.

It’s always more of a matter of not feeling safe to act on what they know to be true deep down.

Subconsciously, they fear that if they courageously acted on the intelligence of their soul, then they would be misperceived, judged, and ultimately persecuted.

The reason that they fear persecution is because their act of courage would actually disrupt the status quo of the belief systems of those around them.

So they feel safer continuing to stay in a position of matching the energy of others, rather than radiating the deeper knowing of their True Self.

So they are struggling to feel safe while simultaneously acting from the deeper knowing of the soul.

And then they innocently tell themselves that they are doubting themselves, as a story to hide behind. 

But as they tell themselves that they’re doubting themselves, they’re not actually addressing the deeper need that is wanting to be acknowledged.

Because the soul actually has no doubts.

The soul is intimately connected with Source (God), which is why it has such a profound knowing about how it is being called to evolve and express.

Only the conditioned self has doubts, because it feels safe and validated through matching the energy of others.

Now, when we become aware of this, then we can stop hiding behind the story of “self-doubt” that we tell ourselves, and address the deeper need that is calling our attention – which is the need to feel safe in embodying the expression of the soul.

When we do this, then we acknowledge that deep down we actually DO know exactly what we’re being called to act on, from the most authentic aspect of our being.

Once again, the soul does not doubt.

The soul simply knows.

And from here, we can start to learn of true safety, which comes from being rooted in our intuition, and rooted in God, rather than trying to find false safety through energetically matching those around us. 

When we try to find false safety through energetically matching others, then we become a diminished expression of the incredible masterwork that we were each destined to become.

So the false safety is not worth it.

And to be honest, if you’re looking for true safety in this world through trying to secure your place in it, you’re never going to truly find it.

Because true safety is not of this world.

True safety only comes from God. 

And so with all of this, we can allow self-doubt to become the entryway into true courage, strength, conviction, and ultimately the greatest freedom that we will ever come to know.

When it comes to relationships, we often don’t come together with others for the reasons that we initially think.

Remember, within every human being, there are multiple layers at play.

There is the conscious mind, and there is the unconscious mind. And they are both engaged when we enter into a relationship.

Our conscious mind will think that we are drawn to somebody for a certain handful of reasons, and yet if we are honest with ourselves, there’s always an inner sense of something far beyond our conscious understanding that is bringing us together with another.

This is why relationships are so alluring, because we can feel the intelligent pulse of our unconscious working through the energies of attraction and repulsion, and so relationships become a way for us to feel into the deeper dimensions of our being.

With this being said, much of the suffering and disharmony that we experience in relationship, isn’t actually coming from the relationship itself.

But rather, it’s coming from these different layers of ourselves being on different pages from one another. 

In other words, the real source of our suffering is an internal fragmentation between the conscious and the unconscious – from two parts of ourselves that are operating in conflict.

Our conscious mind will hold certain expectations around what a particular relationship is for, and yet our unconscious (the soul) will bring us into the relationship for completely different reasons, with its own series of lessons and wisdom that it is trying to connect us with. 

The unconscious mind will intelligently guide the journey behind bringing two souls together, but if the conscious mind is not on the same page as the unconscious, then the relationship will merely expose the internal fragmentation and the disharmony between the different layers of self.

So it’s not the relationship itself that is causing the suffering, but rather the internal fragmentation that was already present, that the relationship is bringing to the surface. 

To give a specific example:

Let’s say somebody’s going into a relationship consciously thinking that this person is going to be their “life partner”, and that this person will provide them with all of the security and safety that they need to make them happy for the rest of their life.

And on a deeper level, the unconscious (the soul) could care less about this person being their “life partner”, and is more interested in this relationship helping the person to develop certain qualities of their character that are necessary for them to carry out their soul’s calling.

So on one level, the person’s conscious mind is fabricating a false reality around what the relationship is for, full of its own projections, expectations, and social conditionings.

And on a deeper level, the soul (the unconscious), is bringing that relationship into that person’s life for a much more important reason – to help this person to embody the qualities of their true essence. 

So when the incompatibilities around “life partnership” begin to arise in the relationship, then it exposes the fragmentation between the different layers of the self that were already present to begin with. 

And so it’s this internal split that is the source of the suffering. Not necessarily the relationship itself.

(But if you are reading these words, and are currently in an abusive relationship, by all means, take yourself out of it! These words are intended to be a point of awareness, not an excuse to stay in something abusive)

As humanity enters into its next cycle of maturation, the way that we navigate relationships are going to change drastically.

This change is going to require us to shed our own “egoic” and conditioned expectations around what relationships are for, and allow the sacred mystery underlying the union of two souls to guide the blossoming of the relationship itself.

We often have it backwards, where we try to sculpt the relationship into what we “think” it should be, rather than allowing the relationship itself to reveal its true nature, from the deeper and more soulful dimensions of our being.

When we take this approach to relationships, then we respect and honor the Higher Universal Intelligence (God) that has a very specific reason for bringing two souls together, and we learn to trust the higher workings of Its orchestration.

So, at the end of the day, it’s not so much about finding the “right person”, as it is about coming into internal harmony with one’s own soul, and unifying the various layers of self.

And the way that we come into internal harmony is:

1.) Through establishing clear communication between the conscious and unconscious mind (intuition)

2.) Through humbly respecting the intelligence of the soul (even when it goes against what our ego thinks it wants) 

3.) And through prioritizing our connection to God (Source), above everything else.

A father unexpectedly loses the job that he’s had for years while trying to support his family. Terrified, with his wife and children to care for, he is forced into the unknown. 

A mother loses her child in a tragic and unexpected accident, and must grieve the loss of a life not fully lived, filled with confusion as to why her baby was taken from her.

Life has the potential to shock us with the unexpected, leaving us in the wake of utter confusion and disarray. We riddle our minds with why certain things happen, and why life seems to be at odds with us. 

Our understanding fails us in these moments. 

We face the fragility of our expectations, and of the way we think things are supposed to happen. 

What we usually cannot see when we are facing devastation, is that there is a deeper intention underlying the disarray of our experience. The circumstances, relationships, and happenings in our life are orchestrated in such a way to serve one primary purpose:

To break our hearts wide open.

This is so that we may know the power a love that is free of conditions, and that we may overflow with a relentless compassion that is destined to quench the thirst of every heart. 

So that we may cultivate a depth of empathy that is God-like. 

This doesn’t mean that it is easy, it makes sense, or must feel good – in fact, it usually doesn’t. But it is only through being entrenched in the depth of human experience, where we become broken open to the strength, compassion, and unconditionality of Divine Love.

These moments of devastation and confusion are part of a higher design. They are part of a code, of a universal patterning to help us evolve – to liberate Spirit from matter. 

There is rhyme and reason behind everything that we go through. 

The intelligence of life is never trying to disempower us into victimhood, but rather life is sculpting us, molding us, and gracing us with wisdom so that we may become the incredible masterwork that we were always destined to become.

“Only God is Real”

This statement has been echoing within me like an epic chorus woven throughout a melodious triumphant anthem. There’s been a voice within me, challenging me to bring my every fear, concern, guilt, pain, doubt and confusion to the altar of this statement. 

It tells me that beneath every fear that arises within my mind, there is a belief that there is something other than God present. And in this belief that there is something “other” than God, is a part of my mind that is trying to invest energy into something that is not actually there, in an attempt to validate a part of itself that doesn’t actually exist. 

And to be completely honest with you, I don’t fully understand it. But I recognize that I am not meant to fully understand, because miracles are the very thing that crumble the feeble walls of our limited understanding. Our understanding is wired for this world, yet miracles open us to the Reality beyond it. 

“Only God is Real” 

How can I say such a statement, when humanity is on the brink of nuclear war, when there is unprecedented death and disease, where our global economies are collapsing, when we are more polarized and divided than we’ve ever been, and when it seems as if we moving into an authoritarian regime governed by artificial intelligence? 

This statement seems bypassing, avoidant, disrespectful and blasphemous in the face of a bleeding and suffering humanity!

“Only God is Real”  

What if the suffering that we’re experiencing is our subconscious attempt to create a false world in order to validate a false self that doesn’t even exist? 

We can create an experience for ourselves, even if there is no reality to the experience itself. 

For example, a child can create a fearful experience of monsters living under their bed conspiring to devour them, even when there are no monsters actually there. The child will become frantic, and terror will completely envelope their mind and body, and they will gather all of their toy weapons to fight off the horrendous monsters that aren’t there. The child will create an entire reality within their mind, with hellish scenes replaying over and over, completely removed from the actual Reality that is present. 

“Only God is Real” 

What about bodies that are sick and dying? How could I say such a statement in the face of such literal death? 

There is a Reality that existed far before your birth, and that will continue to exist far beyond your death. Do you really think this little moment of time in a body, this blink of eye, has the power to split you off from the enormity of existence that you have forever been a part of? Even the healthiest bodies are destined to crumble and fade at some point, like sandcastles gradually being swept away into the vast expanse of the ocean waters. Bodies, as beautiful and strong as some may be, are temporary makeshift huts that are destined to return to dust from the very moment that they are made. 

So bodies are not so much of a solid thing, as they are an experience. 

And experiences happen in time. 

And what is Real is not bound by time. 

Because what is Real is forever. 

“Only God is Real”

And to be completely honest with you, I still don’t understand. But I recognize that I am not meant to fully understand, because miracles are the very thing that crumble the feeble walls of our limited understanding. 

Our understanding is wired for this world, yet miracles open us to the Reality beyond it.

“Only God is Real”