When it comes to relationships, we often don’t come together with others for the reasons that we initially think.
Remember, within every human being, there are multiple layers at play.
There is the conscious mind, and there is the unconscious mind. And they are both engaged when we enter into a relationship.
Our conscious mind will think that we are drawn to somebody for a certain handful of reasons, and yet if we are honest with ourselves, there’s always an inner sense of something far beyond our conscious understanding that is bringing us together with another.
This is why relationships are so alluring, because we can feel the intelligent pulse of our unconscious working through the energies of attraction and repulsion, and so relationships become a way for us to feel into the deeper dimensions of our being.
With this being said, much of the suffering and disharmony that we experience in relationship, isn’t actually coming from the relationship itself.
But rather, it’s coming from these different layers of ourselves being on different pages from one another.
In other words, the real source of our suffering is an internal fragmentation between the conscious and the unconscious – from two parts of ourselves that are operating in conflict.
Our conscious mind will hold certain expectations around what a particular relationship is for, and yet our unconscious (the soul) will bring us into the relationship for completely different reasons, with its own series of lessons and wisdom that it is trying to connect us with.
The unconscious mind will intelligently guide the journey behind bringing two souls together, but if the conscious mind is not on the same page as the unconscious, then the relationship will merely expose the internal fragmentation and the disharmony between the different layers of self.
So it’s not the relationship itself that is causing the suffering, but rather the internal fragmentation that was already present, that the relationship is bringing to the surface.
To give a specific example:
Let’s say somebody’s going into a relationship consciously thinking that this person is going to be their “life partner”, and that this person will provide them with all of the security and safety that they need to make them happy for the rest of their life.
And on a deeper level, the unconscious (the soul) could care less about this person being their “life partner”, and is more interested in this relationship helping the person to develop certain qualities of their character that are necessary for them to carry out their soul’s calling.
So on one level, the person’s conscious mind is fabricating a false reality around what the relationship is for, full of its own projections, expectations, and social conditionings.
And on a deeper level, the soul (the unconscious), is bringing that relationship into that person’s life for a much more important reason – to help this person to embody the qualities of their true essence.
So when the incompatibilities around “life partnership” begin to arise in the relationship, then it exposes the fragmentation between the different layers of the self that were already present to begin with.
And so it’s this internal split that is the source of the suffering. Not necessarily the relationship itself.
(But if you are reading these words, and are currently in an abusive relationship, by all means, take yourself out of it! These words are intended to be a point of awareness, not an excuse to stay in something abusive)
As humanity enters into its next cycle of maturation, the way that we navigate relationships are going to change drastically.
This change is going to require us to shed our own “egoic” and conditioned expectations around what relationships are for, and allow the sacred mystery underlying the union of two souls to guide the blossoming of the relationship itself.
We often have it backwards, where we try to sculpt the relationship into what we “think” it should be, rather than allowing the relationship itself to reveal its true nature, from the deeper and more soulful dimensions of our being.
When we take this approach to relationships, then we respect and honor the Higher Universal Intelligence (God) that has a very specific reason for bringing two souls together, and we learn to trust the higher workings of Its orchestration.
So, at the end of the day, it’s not so much about finding the “right person”, as it is about coming into internal harmony with one’s own soul, and unifying the various layers of self.
And the way that we come into internal harmony is:
1.) Through establishing clear communication between the conscious and unconscious mind (intuition)
2.) Through humbly respecting the intelligence of the soul (even when it goes against what our ego thinks it wants)
3.) And through prioritizing our connection to God (Source), above everything else.