Category: Art

4 feet by 4 feet, Acrylic on Canvas (Not Available)

This piece took me a little over a year to complete, and I ended up trading this piece in exchange for a journey to the jungle of Colombia – a journey which was pivotal for me in crossing personal thresholds into the next cycle of my growth. 

When I started this piece over a year ago, I was very much feeling the discomfort of being called into a new level of maturation, but then I would look around at my life, and would be filled with uncertainty as to how to actually go about making the necessary changes that God (Spirit) was calling me to make. 

The gravity of old habits, patterns, and ways of being was causing a major point of tension in my life, because they were so out of sync with the forward movement of my Inner Self. And this caused a very high degree of psychological confusion and suffering, and physical pain even, because there was such a rupture between my soul and the embodied expression with how I was living my life. 

And this was deeply confusing for me, because usually I feel very in harmony with regards to living in alignment with how my soul is calling me to express myself. Over the past decade, I haven’t had much of an issue with acting upon my intuition and taking pretty significant leaps of faith, but for whatever reason this time around, I found myself caught between being overly attached to comfort, and crippling self-doubt, questioning everything that I was doing with my life. 

While I was going through this deep inner questioning, my soul was calling me forward, and the fracture in my being was getting more and more substantial. 

But for some reason, I just couldn’t let myself move forward. 

And as much as I don’t like to admit it, I know that a big part of it was my attachment to comfort. For the past 10 years or so, I lived with a very high level of instability – living in and out of my car, moving from place to place, living on farms and homesteads by the grace and generosity of others, very inconsistent income, and living very minimally to sustain my highly unorthodox lifestyle. 

And so now, upon moving to New Mexico, it’s been the most stable season of my entire adult life. It’s the longest I’ve lived anywhere since I was a teenager, and not to mention the most consistent income I’ve ever made working as an intuitive reader. And I found myself just clinging to this stability and comfort, because it’s something that I went SO long without. 

But then I was presented with a whole new problem – the annihilating suffocation of comfort and stability.

Like an overbearing mother, who refuses to let her child grow up out of her fear of abandonment.

A whole new dragon that I had to learn how to slay. One I wasn’t expecting lol.

When things are too stable, they stagnate. They die, actually. 

Chaos is necessary for growth. 

But, perpetual chaos inhibits growth as well.

So we must learn to achieve a perfect balance between stability and chaos for maximum growth and maturation.

And I found that through this process, I had to learn to access something within myself, where I had to resurrect the power of my own will, my own strength, my own personal and individuated self to propel the direction of my life. 

To claim what I want in my life, and the person I want to be. To actually own it. 

To actually give myself permission to have my own needs and desires, and to realize that it’s okay to have those met. Full permission to actually be a f*cking human being.

And for me, this is the integration of my shadow. 

Because I denied those parts of myself for SO long, that when I FINALLY achieved a certain sense of stability in my life, I had no idea what to do with myself, or how to propel myself forward. 

For most of my life, I was so conditioned to put everyone else’s needs before my own, that I felt completely lost as to what my own desires were, and what my own sense of self looked like. And being cut-off from this part of myself, I was missing a huge element of my being that is necessary to guide me through into the next cycle of my journey.

So I had to go into the underworld – into depression, into rage, into deep loneliness, and ultimately into my shadow, to claim the pieces of myself that were trapped and hidden in the murky waters of my own unconscious and repressed self. 

And that’s why I was hesitating to move forward in my life – because I needed to go through a process of claiming certain shadow aspects of myself that I had denied for so long. 

Because if we are just focused on “the light” and “serving others” without some kind of connection and anchor to our own personal will and individuated self (in other words, without an integrated shadow), we will self-destruct, just as I was doing. 

And so now, I have come to understand the value in facing and accepting all aspects of the self  – the light and the dark, knowing that it is all part of God. 

And as I bring the facets of my shadow (my own desires, personal will, anger, and strength) to the altar of God, then I sanctify those long rejected aspects of myself, and I allow myself be more fully and completely guided by Love, rather than being unconsciously ruled by the parts of myself that were rejected and denied. 

And I am still very much in a deep process with all of this. Still growing and learning to accept all parts of myself, day by day. 

Learning to embody this integrated self is one of my biggest soul educations right now.

And so creating this piece “Transfiguration” was very cathartic and healing, because it represents this journey of alchemy and change, which I was going through as I was painting it. 

And my journey to Colombia this past Spring (with plant medicine) was a HUGE catalyst in helping me to face and accept all the various shades of my being. So, it’s very synchronous that this piece was traded to very dear friends in exchange for them sponsoring my journey to South America, especially given that my intention for this piece was to depict this process of alchemy and transfiguration.

There is a White Eagle in the center of this piece, which represents sanctified personal will and strength, when claimed and given to God. 

In the petals of the mandala, there is the process of a person transforming into the White Eagle: 

1.) Yellow Petal – Growing awareness of one’s self, and the multiple layers of who they are. 

2.) Pink Petal – Growing connection with one’s Higher Self, and developing spiritual sight and vision. 

3.) Yellow Petal – Learning to balance opposites – the spiritual and material, the soul and the body, the light and the darkness, the masculine and feminine. Embodiment of one’s Higher Self. 

4.) Purple Petal – The full transfiguration into the White Eagle. The new and resurrected self. The archetypal phoenix rising from the ashes, with sanctified strength and will. The integration of the shadow, and bringing all parts of oneself back to God. 

The Mandala is a geometric map of consciousness, which is why it has been depicted for thousands of years cross-culturally in various artistic and spiritual contexts.

And in this piece, the White Eagle rests at the center, representing the True Self, which sits at the center of our consciousness, and at the center of our entire structure of being. 

Our True Self is the center point of our lives, and our outer life orbits around it, bringing us closer and closer to our center, that we may come to embody the expression of our True Self, and who God has destined us to be. 

Stylistically, this piece was inspired by many different lineages of sacred art from around the world.

The influence behind this painting include the majestic stained glass work from Medieval Christian cathedrals, to the ancient Hindi Pattachitra art, to the epic Tibetan Buddhist mandalas and Thangka paintings, to the sacred Navajo sand paintings, and to the archaic Aboriginal rock art. 

I’ve really enjoyed the process of absorbing these various traditions of sacred art, and blending their influence with my own intuitive painting style. 

And I also loved playing with the universal language of the mandala, and all of its encoded wisdom and architecture. 

In a certain way, I feel like I can barely even take credit for the art that comes through me anymore. 

The more I deepen into my intuitive work, as well as my creative work, the more I am becoming hyper aware of a Higher Intelligence that utilizes me as an instrument, Whose vision, wisdom, love and knowing reach far beyond the scope of my limited personality self.

So, this piece feels like it has almost initiated me into a new paradigm of self-understanding, where I am feeling that what comes through me, I can’t attach myself to, because there’s a sense that it’s not coming from ‘me’, but rather a Greater Universal Mind that each and every single one of us are intimately connected with. 

And so the intention behind this painting is to give honor and reverence to this Greater Intelligence (God), who is the True Artist behind this work. 

I actually believe the true purpose of all sacred art, is to give praise.

So for me, this piece is a visual acknowledgement of this same Self, in which we all share. 

And as a collective, I believe that the greatest revelation of our age will be the acknowledgment and discovery of this one shared Universal Mind (God), that intelligently orchestrates and organizes all things.

Working as a professional intuitive, one of the consistent things that I notice every time I tune to “read” someone, is that there is this overwhelming sense of a Higher Intelligence that is working through the seemingly “random” experiences of one’s life. 

So in a reading, it often feels as if I am communicating with this underlying Intelligence, and that my purpose as an intuitive, is to help close the gap between this underlying Intelligence, and the conscious mind of the client.

And the more I see this, the more I realize that none of us are who we think we are.

Most of us identify with the “top” layer of self – the conscious mind, which is full of its own judgements, projections, conditionings, and ideas about the way we think things should be. And the conscious mind thinks that it’s “in control” because it assumes the authority of fabricating an “I” around itself. 

And then a few layers beneath that, is the Deeper Self (aka Higher Self), who is intrinsically connected to the workings of a highly intelligent shared Universal Mind (God).

So, this Deeper Self is the part of us that is really moving and orchestrating the circumstances of our lives, and the conscious mind is merely responding to the Deeper Self’s movements and impulses. 

We can understand the relationship with the various parts of ourselves through the metaphor of a surfer and a wave. 

The wave is the Deeper Self, moving flows of energy as part of a larger ocean, and the conscious mind (personality self) is the surfer who is navigating and riding the flow of the wave. 

What we experience as being “in alignment” is a harmony between the various layers of self, where the personality self is working in accord with the intelligent movements of the Deeper Self. 

So being “out of alignment” is when the personality self is working against the movements of the Deeper Self. 

Now, this “Deeper Self” is part of a shared Universal Mind (God), just as a wave is part of an ocean. And all of our Deeper Selves work in perfect accord with one another, like an elaborate set of interlocking mandalas, as part of a larger geometric expression of Light.

And I believe that as we acknowledge the presence of this shared Universal Mind, we can learn how to sensitize ourselves to Its messaging and movements, through deepening our awareness of intuition, so that we can consciously live in accord with It. 

And when we learn to live in accord with It, then we learn how to live in harmony with all of Creation, because this is the same Intelligence that pulses through the cycles of Nature, that sing the stars into the sky, and that gives emanation to the rising and setting of the Sun. 

So, once again, I feel like I can barely even take credit for my art anymore… because it really doesn’t feel like it’s coming from “me”.

Maybe it comes “through” me… but it is not “of” me… 

It comes from this one shared Intelligence that works through each and every single one of us, and that orchestrates the mysterious unfolding of our lives. 

In the center of the mandala is a set of figures holding hands, with golden chords extending from their heads joined by One Golden Being. This represents this One Universal Intelligence that we all share. 

Within the outer petals extending from the mandala, there are scenes representing phases of our journey in connecting with this Higher Universal Mind. 

There are 4 different scenes, within 4 different colors, repeating 4  times to represent the 4  seasons of Nature. 

The first scene is in the orange petal, depicted by 2 beings giving praise to a tree. This represents our necessary reconnection with the Earth and the natural world, as a preliminary step to sensitizing ourselves to this Higher Intelligence. 

The second scene is in the green petal, and is depicted by a being with a tree halo coming from their head. This represents the phase where our consciousness starts to blend with the consciousness of Nature itself.

The third scene is in the yellow petal, with two teal trees and one dark purple tree in the center. There is no human figure in this scene, because it represents the phase of purification, when our consciousness becomes cleansed and undone of all of our fabricated human beliefs and conditioning. 

The fourth scene is in the blue petal, where we see a figure with a golden being coming from the head, with arms outstretched with tree branches, representing the clear and established connection with our Higher Self, and the Greater Universal Mind. 

And these 4 scenes repeat 4 times, reflecting the cyclical moments of Nature. 

And this process is portrayed within the structure of a mandala, which is a universal symbol reflecting the architecture of Light, and structure of this shared Universal Mind. 

So this painting was created in honor of the One from whom all art arises, and is a visual acknowledgement of this same Self, in which we all share. 

New Piece – “The Language of Trees”

32” x 32” (with frame) 

Available

This is a collaborative piece created in honor of the intuitive language that humans share with trees (and the non-human world). 

It is the first of a series of collaborative pieces between myself and my very gifted soul-brother, Nathan Sharples, from www.TempleWorks.Studio.

For the past several months, Nathan and I have been brainstorming pieces that combine his woodworking/stained-glass art, with my paintings. And this piece is one of the results. Nathan created this beautiful frame, made of poplar wood embroidered with purple stained-glass (see the figures in the frame). 

To give you a little backstory on my connection with Nathan – I lived on his family’s land in a cabin that he built in Mendocino before I lived in Taos. 

When I first moved to Mendocino a few years ago, I was magically led to Nathan’s majestic and whimsical little shaman cabin tucked back in the redwoods on his family’s property. It had open windows on all sides, which looked into a lush green kingdom of towering ancient trees. The cabin felt like a cross between something out of the fairy worlds of Middle Earth, and the underworlds of ancient shamanism.  

I nested there for about 3 years, developing my art, writing, and speaking while Nathan lived in Oregon developing his practice as a cranial sacral healer. 

As I would create my art, I would hang my paintings on the walls of his cabin, and it just became more and more apparent how well our artistic styles blended together. 

When Covid hit, Nathan moved back to his family’s land, and we had the opportunity to connect more deeply. Getting the chance to spend more time together, it became clear how well we vibed, both artistically and spiritually. 

Then one day, as I was walking along the ocean in a contemplative state, I got struck with the download of Nathan and I collaborating – I saw beautiful clairvoyant visions of wooden frames with stained-glass in Nathan’s style of woodworking, blended with my paintings.

I excitedly brought the idea to Nathan, and he agreed to do one test frame to see how it turned out. 

Upon creating the first experimental “prototype” of combining our crafts, I put it online and within 3 days it sold for a few grand. So, we took this as the “green light” from Spirit to move forward with the collaboration. 

So, Nathan got a CNC wood working machine, and we’ve been creating our first series of works together. 

I must say, I am beyond excited for this collaboration, and I feel incredibly blessed to be working alongside such a gifted and soulful craftsman.

To speak to another dimension of the piece – it is called “The Language of Trees”, in honor of the deeper intuitive language that humans share with trees.

I feel very passionate about interspecies communication between humans and the non-human world, and I feel a strong calling to use my art to bring greater awareness to this deeper intuitive wavelength of communication. 

From my own personal experience, I have had deeply profound experiences communicating with trees and other plants, which has completely altered my sense of self and reality. 

I know to many, this might sound “out-there” or “woo-woo”, but to ancient indigenous and tribal cultures around the world, this deeper listening and communion was paramount to their survival and knowledge of how to use different plants.

Even today, I have many friends that have taken classes in herbalism. And in these herbal studies, the students are often encouraged to intuitively listen to the plant for receiving knowledge about its medicinal properties, rather than just looking it up in a textbook. The ability to listen with sensitivity and intuition is key. 

I truly believe that the precipice of our collective healing rests on our ability to listen. 

In my opinion, humanity’s greatest mistake is that it assumes that it “knows”. 

When we let go of what we assume we know, then we open ourselves to the mystical and dream-like realms of nature. And in this space, our minds become receptacles for a deeper language, one that exists beyond the layers of conditioning that are fed through trauma and addiction, and we touch an aspect of the true reality that we inhabit. 

I have been an educator of intuitive development for the past several years, and I have a passion for helping others connect with their intuition. And for me, it’s not about teaching people to become “psychic”, or whatever you want to call it. It’s about helping people learn how to listen. 

Because that’s what humanity needs more than anything – to learn how to listen. 

To listen more deeply to others. 

To listen more deeply to the natural world.

To listen more deeply to our own hearts and souls. 

In the painting, you can see two beings praising the tree in the center. These two beings dawn a blue halo around their heads from which a tree is rising. This represents their intuitive connection to the tree, and the “oneness” that they share with the consciousness of the tree.

The colorful branches of the tree represent stained-glass, which symbolize the tree as a cathedral, and a portal of worship and connection to Spirit. 

The golden beings behind the two green central figures represent our guides and angels, and the divine support that assists us in re-establishing our connection to the natural world. 

At the bottom, we see six golden beings giving praise to the sun, honoring the source of light that gives rise to all of life. This simultaneously symbolizes both the physical sun, as well as the inner spiritual sun that illuminates our minds and hearts with Holy vision. 

The symbolism of the piece extends into the frame, with the rows of people composed of stained-glass standing on either side of the wood-carved trees on all four sides. This represents communities of people coming together to build societies around a more conscious connection to nature. 

This piece was created as a symbol, as a reminder, of the deeper reality that we are forever a part of, and in honor of the intuitive language that we share with all of life. 

May we remember how to listen. 

And may we remember how to pray. 

Not just for ourselves, but because this is what the world needs the most. 

I would like to extend my gratitude for getting the opportunity to collaborate with the very talented Nathan Sharples on this project. Nathan is an incredible woodworker, architect, writer, artist, and healer, so please be sure to check out more of Nathan’s work at: 

www.TempleWorks.Studio

Thank you all for being a part of my journey. 

May you each be blessed beyond comprehension. 

As I find myself undergoing major changes, both internally and externally, I have been reflecting deeply on the process of personal transformation. 

Observing my own life, I see a major cycle closing, and another one beginning. With this, I am realizing more and more the importance of honoring the old, in order to fully embrace the new.

For me, this means setting aside the time to create a sacred space to acknowledge the growth, and the significance of the various relationships and experiences in the cycle that is ending. Acknowledging deeply, that those moments will never come again, and in them – there is a sacredness in the unique gift that each and every experience had to offer. 

And by honoring and acknowledging the value of the previous cycle, I become more rooted in the present, and I become more open to embrace what is to come. 

And of course, there is a grief that comes with letting go. Because to feel the depth of how sculpted we were by our previous experiences – we realize how significant they truly were. And there is a pain in recognizing that those moments will never come again. 

But that pain only reveals the depth of how willing we were to love, and it is that love that molds us into the person that we were always destined to become.

And with this comes the question – how do we face death? 

Whether it be the physical death of a loved one, or the death of a cycle in life… Or even in facing our own mortality.

How do we navigate these mysterious points of transition? 

For me, I want to face death with honor. 

Honor of all that came before, and of all that lies ahead. Honoring that things will no longer be the same. And honoring the unknown, with respect to the larger process that I may not fully understand. 

Recently, part of how I have been holding space for myself and honoring the changes, is making art. 

As I have been reflecting on cycles of my healing, I wanted to create a piece that honors the various stages of my growth.  

With that, I found it cathartic to create this particular piece, honoring the 3 primary stages of my healing:

I. Disassociation

II. Integration

III. Individuation

Each circle represents a different stage in my relationship with myself, of my inner process and growth. 

I. Disassociation

The circle at the bottom depicts the stage of “Disassociation”. This is the point in my life where my psyche was heavily split and fractured. Where I was running away from myself. Where my traumas dictated my behaviors and perceptions. My woundedness was seen as a wretched demon that I sought to escape from – that I felt powerless to. I lacked the tools and resources to confront my own pain, so I projected it onto others and got lost in my addictions. 

In this depiction, the two aspects of myself are facing in the opposite direction. They are depicted running away from each other – indicating an inner schism. Yet, between them, there is a golden being dawning a halo. This represents my Higher Self, the Christed Self, that has remained with me through every aspect of my journey. 

Though the self is split at this stage, there is a Higher Aspect of ourselves that oversees our process. It watches with a compassionate understanding of a Higher Order, honoring this as the first level of maturation in spiritual alchemy. 

And even in those cycles when we are split – the truth is, we were still in Paradise, we just don’t have the vision to perceive it… 

II. Integration

The second circle represents “Integration”. This was the stage in my journey where I began to face myself. Rather than running away from my pain, my trauma, I began to look towards it with greater openness and curiosity. Instead of my woundedness being a demon that I sought to escape from, I began to embrace it as teacher. Instead of being a victim to my suffering, I became an apprentice to it, and it became a valuable source of self-knowledge. 

In this depiction, we see the two aspects of myself now facing each other. They both dawn golden halos, symbolizing the growing awareness of their union with one another. They are depicted nurturing a tree together, symbolizing the seed of hope, as one day this tree will bear fruit.

III. Individuation

The top circle represents “individuation”. This is the stage where I have gleaned enough wisdom and insight from the previous one, to start serving others from a genuinely empowered place. This is where I have been schooled by my pain and shadow enough, to have knowledge to apply towards service. This is the stage where my pain has been transmuted into wisdom. My weakness into strength. My confusion into clarity. My fear into courage. And my grievances into love. 

I am no longer a victim of my pain. I am now empowered by it. 

Rather than two separate beings, we see one whole, unified self. This self is golden, and dawns the same halo of the “Higher Self” from the first circle. This is symbolic of the embodiment of the Higher Self. 

Rather than being unconsciously guided by a Higher organizing wisdom, we become fully conscious of this Higher wisdom, and we operate our lives from it. 

The outstretched arms symbolize empowerment, and the branches symbolize the being’s connection to all of Creation. The budding green leaves symbolize new life and vitality – rebirth. This being now “embodies” the tree that was nurtured in the previous cycle. 

The Sun shinning in the background of all three circles represents the light of perfect love, of Paradise, of Home, that is present through every stage of growth. 

No matter what we go through, we never leave God. It is only in our own perceptions that we think we have left. 

Even in our faults, our missteps, our cycles of running away from ourselves – it is all part of a Higher Order. A Higher Perfection. 

This is because we live in a realm of Alchemy. And it is the alchemical process itself that is perfect, not the finality of it. 

May we learn to see ourselves through the lens of this Higher Order, that we may hold every step of our journey in reverence, honor, and love. 

And may be transition from one cycle into the next with honor, respect, acknowledgement, and love.